Hubby and I are both breadwinners for our two young children, as well as my parents. Now that they have moved to Kuantan, they have been incredibly helpful, cooking us warm meals and offering to babysit. But should we take up the offer?
Many would say, come on, it's grandparents' duty to care for their grandchildren. Afterall, it will relieve the young parents of child caring duties. And financially, some money saved from not having a babysitter or sending the children off to daycare. With child abuse and murder going rampant, grandparents are the most trustworthy people after ourselves.
The recent article in the Star further elaborated the potential benefits in terms of longevity if they look after the grandkids.
"Maybe it’s the extra exercise, the mental challenges, or simply a psychological effect, but older people who spend a lot of time with their grandchildren are healthier and live longer, a new German study has found."
But there's a caveat.
"But it’s false to conclude that the more you help, the longer you’ll live,” Hertwig warns, noting that previous studies have shown no longevity benefits for grandparents who mind their grandchildren round the clock, which is stressful."
Hubby and I actually prefer hiring a babysitter for my almost 3 month old and sending my eldest to daycare. We are not depriving them of grandparents' love by any means. We still go over most of the evenings and weekends.
Baby Yi cooing at 2 months.
Firstly, we have a reliable babysitter. She's experienced and loved our eldest just like her own grandson. She trained Bing to feed himself, sing, dance, to be continent. She played with Bing and taught him too. Even when Bing was ill, she cared for him. Now that Bing is attending daycare, baby Yi will go under her care instead. You may argue that your parents took care of you so they would be to care for your child, but they may not enjoy it and may not be good at it. But too hard to refuse your request.
Bing's daycare is great! His vocabulary and fine motor skills have improved tremendously. I love how he always brings his artwork home. And there's little next to none homework for 3 years old class. He has grown so much and transformed from a clingy baby to an independent toddler. He loves mingering with children from various ethnic and cultural background as well.
After work, us parents get to spend quality time with our children. It takes our mind off work. As absence makes the heart grows fonder, I particularly find that I am able to love them even better than being with them 24/7.
The current arrangement is a sweet spot for my family. Everyone gets some me time everyday with some doses of love for and from the young ones. That's how we prefer it. What about you? Mind sharing your thoughts?